Lord I trust that you can handle this. She is such a bitch! My heart is filled with bitterness and hurt and she does not even seem to give a damn. I feel like 2 years of my life have been wasted with this girl. I am really struggling right now with forgiveness and bitterness. My flesh does not want to forgive her, but I know that in my heart it is wrong to feel the way that I do towards her. Seeing her or thinking about her just makes me sick. I wish we did not even have the same name or even have met.
I need to for sure get away from this church right now and have that freedom to not see her in passing. I am debating if I am going to church on Wedensday or not. I really do not want to at all.
In your word Lord it talks about forgiving 77 times 7. That feels very hard for me to do right now towards this person. I have been continually hurt by her words and actions. When does one draw the line? Can you answer that for me Lord? I have been trying to be in your word, but it has been so hard. You are pruning me for sure and it has been a very painful process.
It feels very hard for me to want to pray for this person. After they have wronged me and betrayed me why should I? I should because you laid down your life for me and forgave me of my sins and expect your children to do like wise. Oh it is so much easier said than done. I need your help in this area Lord because my flesh just wants to hold this grudge, but I need to let it go and move on so that I can LIVE the life that you have called me to life. No one else is going to be and I can't be anyone else. After spending time with this girl and seeing what she allows no one else to see, I do not want to be her at all. Jumping around from friend to friend and guy to guy. It is a sad life and I do not want that for my life. I want to make real genuine friendships where both parties equally care for each other with thier actions not just with thier words. Help me Lord not to go to bed angry tonight. My flesh really wants to, but my heart knows thats not the answer. I need to be focus my energy on this upcoming test I have in anatomy this Friday. I need to score a mich higher grade on this lab exam so that I can bring my overall percentage up to a C average. Oh how I need you Lord.
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